Shel tells how OJ fells

Here be a poem by one of my favorite authors, Shel Silverstein, which perfectly characterizes how I feel sometimes. Shel seems to always have a way of doing that.

"The Yipiyuk"
by Shel Silverstein

In the swamplands long ago,
Where the weeds and mudglumps grow,
A Yipiyuk bit on my toe…
Exactly why I do not know.
I kicked and cried and hollered "Oh!"
The Yipiyuk would not let go.
I whispered to him soft and low.
The Yipiyuk would not let go.
Yes, that was sixteen years ago,
And the Yipiyuk still won't let go.
The snow may fall, the winds may blow.
The Yipiyuk will not let go.
I drag him 'round each place I go,
And now my child at last you know
exactly why I walk so slow.

So that is why I walk so slow.
But the point is though: I am walking,
and eventually this darn Yipiyuk will go away
and I will have a brand new day
free of Yipiyuks.

A Silly Midnight Hunger

Here's a silly poem inspired by the absurd adventure I had a few nights ago in my room...

"Midnight Hunger"
by OJ Baclig

Tonight,
I had a distracting hunger
A hunger I knew would come eventually
a hunger I first denied
then ultimately embraced
so I turned to the tempting,
comforting, gently soothing hum
of the boxy, mechanical giant which,
through his warm dispassionate cold,
prolongs the life
of that which gives life
The Refrigerator
there, in his tantalizing belly
my eyes searched through by stomach,
therein I find, bifurcated by tupperware,
denied its true form,
that which was to satiate my craving,
from one plastic casket I poured out its blood
into the other casket with its entrails
merged once again,
ready to reawaken,
combined in this reguvinatory casket
I delivered it into yet another mechanical life-giver,
One who yields the invisible radioactive flames of Hades itself,
for 2 short yet long minutes I waited
to complete its resurrection
to arise again to give me life,
energy, vitality,
A Beep! Beep! Beep!
It's complete
From the bowels of the boxy radioactive life-giving monster,
emerged...
my heated spaghetti !!!
oozing, yet longing for one last piece of the reguvinative puzzle,
the grated bovine bi-product to rain upon it's steamy strings,
PARMESAN!!! Rain down upon SPAGHETTI!!!
Complete the bloody sacrifice!
And alas it is done.
Fork in hand I retreat to my domicile,
anticipating, salivating,
I dive in.... but alas!
2 minutes was not enough,
Our savior said he spits out the lukewarm,
This was not acceptable,
1 more minute in the fireless pits,
Satisfaction must have been achieved,
I sit
Fork in hand
anticipating
salivating
ready
A BUZZING.....
Where?!
A BUZZING BZZZZZZZZZ
Suddenly, there he is
Loud, Stupid, Pointless Invader! Sits right on my laptop screen
Buggy Multifaceted Perception of a distorted world,
He buzzed at me announcing his presence,
A fly,
An annoying fly,
Shooo! It flies away,
A second of silence...
BZZZZ BZZZZZ again!
Where?!!!
Behind me?! Beside me?!
Where?!!!
Beneath..... noooooo..... right beneath me.....
drowning in meaty read viscosity
drowning in that which was suppose to give me life,
a hunger which lead to slow death,
no longer mocking, but now pleading for salvation,
spaghetti sauce versus the hungry fly
the sauce won,
I lost,
a fly on---IN my spaghetti!
a fly meeting eternity in my spaghetti
I'm hungry,
I don't show mercy
I operate,
segregate and eradicate,
I extract the dying offender,
I risk the serenity of my saucy salvation,
I sit,
fork in hand,
anticipating,
salivating,
slight apprehension,
germs?
no.
hunger is stronger than fear
I sit
fork in hand
fork in spaghetti
fork in mouth
I live....

Copyright Blues

About a year and a half ago I took on a music video project for a local band. Like an idiot, as if I didn't know any better, I went ahead with the production without getting any papers signed. Without getting into the nitty-gritty details, once the project was fully completed the issue of copyrights came up. We could not come to an amicable agreement as far as who owned the copyright. It got so bad that I even had to contact a lawyer for advising. Now, my lesson is learned, and I would like to share the basics of what I learned with you.

COPYRIGHT TIPS
-ideas are not cannot be copyrighted.
-an idea can be copyrighted once it is translated or recorded onto a fixed medium. (e.g. the story concept of a quirky supernatural detective is not copyrighted when you talk to your buddy about it. It becomes copyrighted once you write the idea down, say in a form of a novel or a script.)
-Once the idea is in a fixed medium you automatically own the copyright. You don't have to register anything. However, registering your work with the Library of Congress, or or any respectable institution like the Writer's Guild , provides you with official dated proof that you are the first person to ever have copyright on that particular idea.
-Warning, the poor-man's copyright (mailing something to yourself in a seal envelope) is too easy to fake, and therefore does not hold water in court.
-If you are hired by someone to undertake a creative endeavor, they do not own copyright to what you do unless it is a "work-for-hire" or unless you willingly donate to them, in writing. Otherwise, just because someone asked you to do something for them, it doesn't automatically mean that they have rights to the copyright of the work.
-Lastly, make sure everything, all agreements, stipulations, EVERYTHING is done on paper, signed and dated. It'll save you the headache in the end.

Here is the music video project I had copyright problems with last year. It ended basically in a stalemate. Here on this Youtube entry, you see the project as posted by the band, sadly stripped away of any of the credits to my company. Sad sad sad. Twas a fun project though.

Heartstoppingly clever!!!

Here's a little trick to play on the nurse on your next doctor visit.
I learned this trick from the Klutz Book of Magic that I read when I was in fourth grade.
Next time you go to the doctor, bring along with you either a golf ball or one of those big bouncy balls that you get at the 50 cent Bouncy Ball dispensers at the super market. Make sure you keep this concealed. Before you get shown into the examination room find a way to secretly place the ball underneath the armpit of the arm which the nurse will be getting your blood pressure from. Right before the nurse takes your blood pressure, secretly squeeze the ball with your armpit. This will cause the flow of blood into your arm to be blocked. The effect will be that you will have no pulse! Now, if you want to be really thorough, make sure you have a ball underneath both armpits. This way, either arm she checks you will have no pulse! After this, burst out into a huge laughter you evil person you!

The Three Act Structure Rules!

Today we talk a little more about movies. This time about the structure of a story.
In just about every great movie you've seen there is one common thread that tends to bind them all across all genres and styles. That is, the classic three act structure. This three act structure can be applied to any medium of storytelling. However, since my field is film, I will discuss it as it relates to that particular medium.

As the term suggests, the the three act structure breaks the story down into 3 parts. In most blockbuster movies these parts are usually pretty distinct and obvious. Let's break it down.

Act1 establishes the hero, the setting (or his normal world), the conflict and it's resulting "call to action". You see the protagonist/hero hanging out, doing his thing. We see how cool or relatable they are, and how comfortable they are in their own little world, and then... trouble arises. The protagonist must leave his comfort zone and either enthusiastically or reluctantly spring to action. Act 1 ends when the hero takes up the challenge and usually it's stated pretty darn clearly. "Now I must find or do this-and-that in order to save my that-and-this."

The journey begins with Act 2. Here the hero encounters obstacles and friends along the way. This is the roller coaster ride part of the story. At the middle of act two there is a BIG turning point. All of a sudden just when we think we're almost there, more poo poo is flung at the protagonist! Now, he doesn't just have to find the this-and-that, he now also has to do it and rescue the pretty damsel in distress. This leads him to face his greatest challenge of all. Our story's climax. After this, whether he wins or loses we are led to...

Act 3 which is the journey home. Here all loose ends are tied. It turns out that this happened to that and that happened to this therefore this got exactly what this deserved and that is now all better. Everybody is happy (or sad) depending on the story, and I am sleepy because it's about to become midnight.

If anyone actually reads this blog, I hope you learned something new. This is just a brief summary of the 3 act structure. There are tons of books out there. Most of the stuff I wrote came from reading a book by Syd Field called "Screenplay," as well as a book called "A Hero's Journey." Those books are essential to anyone wanting learn how to write great stories. Joseph Campbell is the originator of the term Hero's Journey. He's George Lucas' mentor when it comes to writing stories.

I'm off to bed now. I'd be fun if I dream ends up in a three act structure. That'd be something.

Movie Jargon

Since my life is revolving around this insane movie project that I am working on right now, many of these blogs might end up being about movie related stuff. This particular blog will be about movie jargon. You might have seen these terms if you pay attention during the credits, and you might have wondered what these things meant. Well, here are some key terms for your learning pleasure...

The different types of "producers"

Executive Producer - is basically in charge of the entire business and legals aspects of running a production. They do not handle any of the technical aspects of movie-making.

Producer - is responsible for running the production i.e. fund raising, hiring key crew, arranging distributors. However all the creative story-related, performance-related stuff is left to the director. In a way, I sort of see the producer as the genie for the director. The director says "I want this and that to happen", then a great producer will say, "No problem." He will then go ahead and figure out how to make the directors vision a pragmatic reality.

Gaffer - is the chief electrician on the set. Tis a very important job. Movie lights run thousands of watts, the typical home light bulb may run at max 60 or so watts. The gaffer's job is to make sure there is enough electricity running to the many many lights usually running all at once and not short any circuits. Every time a new shot is set up, the lights are moved to different locations, the gaffer must make sure the electrical juice is somehow always flowing.

Best Boy - basically, this person is the gaffer's main assistant. Then below the gaffer and best boy are other lighting assistants.

Grip - is a person in charge of moving equipment from one place to another. Speaking of equipments...

A Flag is an apparatus used to block and shape lights. They are usually held up in place by C-stands. Using a flag and a c-stand you can pretty much carve out any shape of light you are going to basically need. These flags come in various sizes.



This is a flag and a c-stand.
(image from http://www.efplighting.com/images/grip%20head%20w-flag%20reduced.jpg)


That is all for now. Hope you learned something new today!

Testing Out This Blog Thing....

Okay, this is my first blog post ever. Think of something clever...nothing at the moment.
We'll return to this a little later on the day. Perhaps at during that time of night when epiphanies come. For now, we shall consider this a test.

This is a test for links. If anyone wants to see some of the behind the scenes to the latest movie I am shooting "Jack Turner and the Reluctant Vampire". Click here.

That's all for now. The educational post will come a little later.
toodles to the internet world.